Friday, January 19, 2024

Review: Cats Have No Lord double feature

A Tomb of Twins

Sometime mid-December, Luke Simonds posted on Bluesky asking if anyone was interested in reviewing two of his games (A Tomb of Twins and Won't Someone Think of the d100 Polearms?) as he had extra physical copies of them. I said I would, he sent them off, and now here we are about a month later.

Full disclosure: these reviews are based solely off reading the zines. I have not had the opportunity to put them into play, so interpret my opinions accordingly.

A Tomb of Twins

A Tomb of Twins is a 32-page (counting the covers) low-level dungeon zine for OSR games with writing and layout by Luke Simonds, art and map by Molomoot, and editing by Allison Miller Simonds.
 
A mysterious priesthood conducts monthly rituals inside the tomb of twin necromancers while rumors abound that great treasures and wealth is locked up inside. The twist is that the treasures in question (or at least the ones that the adventure hooks center around) are the phylacteries of the twin necromancers-turned-liches, while the monthly ritual keeps them from reforming and terrorizing the region.

The tomb itself is broadly twin-themed, with mirrored left and right sides of the dungeon presenting players a choice of where to go. A band of tunneling swampkin (blue humanoids who live in a nearby swamp) have entered one side of the tomb and pose an obstacle to the PC tomb robbers as well as a way to break up two otherwise identical routes.

From a design perspective, this adventure works well as an introduction to OSR-type play for new players. There's a dungeon, treasure, some inventive traps that can be circumvented with clever play, a puzzle, monstrous enemies, and a boss battle that can either be avoided or easily decimate the characters. Nothing here is really reinventing the wheel, but it also doesn't have to. The whole adventure could be completed in 1-2 sessions, and depending on how the crawl goes there is the potential for a number of further directions:
  • Accidentally release 1-2 liches
  • Make enemies/allies of the swampkin
  • Make enemies/allies of the Thieves Assembly or Arcane Academy for failing/succeeding to bring them the vials
My favorite part of the adventure has to be its take on the random encounter. The tomb traps spirits inside it, so it's positively full to bursting with ghosts. And not just ghosts of humanoids either, there's all sorts of ghostly vermin scurrying around to add a fun atmosphere to the whole thing. These vermin could pop up as random encounters, but more frequent an intelligent ghost will appear with their own motivation and information to share (or hoard). There are wizard ghosts who want to get to the center of the tomb with you, priests who want to keep you from advancing, and goblins who just want to cause pranks. This is a slight combination of the classic random encounter + reaction roll, but it works really well as a way to spice up the delve. You can't treat every ghost the same, and you have to approach them like any other NPC in order to suss out how they feel about you.

I have two primary critiques of the adventure. First, as I said above, it doesn't feel like it's doing much that's new. I know that I said it doesn't have to, and I stand by that, but there's a lot of design space that feels unexplored here. The two halves of the dungeon didn't have to be identical, for example. They could have been themed to each of the two necromancers, or have opposite versions of the other's traps/puzzles, or require various actions to be taken exactly simultaneously. I'm not trying to say "Well this is how I would have designed it," but the overall theming of the adventure just feels like it's begging to be taken one or two steps farther.

My second critique hinges on the swampkin. They add variety to the adventure, breaking into the left half of the tomb and keeping it from being exactly the same. This is fine, and two of the first swampkin you meet pose interesting roleplaying challenges. One is floating on the ceiling, having triggered an antigravity trap and willing to give information in return for help, and the other is described as kind-hearted and fascinated by humans. These are great moments but they're completely undercut by the bestiary's description of swampkin as "ruthless and indiscriminate killers." It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth to play into the portrayal of monstrous humanoids as intrinsically savage (perhaps not evil, but certainly violent and not prone to diplomacy). And the adventure itself doesn't bear this out! The two swampkin priestesses have opposing views on their expedition into the tomb, the warlord is insecure about his position and just wants a win to shore up support, and that one grunt just wants to get off the ceiling. The stereotypical "hyper-violent monstrous humanoids" just didn't need to be in the adventure at all and seems like an archaic holdover from early dungeon-crawling games. It would be more interesting to explore how both the swampkin and players are tomb robbers, and therefore have both a natural common cause and common conflict. This is already a sensibility reflected in the random ghost encounters, where the ghost is turned from a standard combat encounter with a monster into a variety of other things. Obviously nothing is stopping you from approaching the swampkin in the same way, but if that's the case I just don't understand the description in the bestiary. Much like my first point of critique, the swampkin feel like they're begging to be pushed just a little farther beyond the standard (and boring) 'savage' enemies.

If you're looking for a game to introduce players to the OSR, this is a fine choice. But if you're already familiar with the playstyle, I don't know how much will be here for you.

Won't Someone Think of the d100 Polearms?

Won't Someone Think of the d100 Polearms? is a 16-page (counting covers) system-neutral zine for crafting your own unique polearms with writing and layout by Luke Simonds, character illustrations by Evlyn Moreau, and editing by Allison Miller Simonds.

Quite simply, the whole zine is three d100 tables you can use to make 1,000,000 unique polearms. Granted, most of these variants are completely cosmetic (one table is for the design of the blade and one describes the decoration on the shaft), but don't knock the cosmetic elements of this zine. The blade design table is 100 silhouettes of polearm blades, all illustrated by Luke Simonds. If you scan these silhouettes onto a computer, it's an incredible resource for giving out polearms that players can see and get really attached to.
I know that I'd be more attached to something like 36 or 50 than the generic idea of a polearm.

The table describing the shaft's appearance is a little more repetitive (a lot of different colors, a lot of different inlaid items), but again, being able to grab some descriptive inspiration for a magic item is great.

But it's the "What Makes It Special?" table that really makes this zine, well, special. 100 (mostly) very different abilities, some good, some bad, some ludicrous, but all very different than a +1 polearm. For example, you could get a polearm where the blade functions like a camera, or the shaft turns into a ladder, or it smells really bad, or it gives you the ability to command stags (but they'll seek revenge afterwards). There's really something there for everyone and every type of game, from the serious to the comedic to the gonzo.

It's a good zine Bob!

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